Are You Giving Away Your Power?
April 23, 2018
April 23, 2018
This weekend I am enjoying a retreat with my soul sisters in business, at a property one of our own runs in Manzanita Village. Having time away from the office to gain perspective, and give and receive support with like-minded business souls is always so powerful and impactful. I am super grateful for this tribe.
I realized something earlier this week that I think will be helpful for you too. I had a conversation that started triggering me a few hours later. I felt off at first, and then angry later. By trigger I’m referring to those reactive feelings that are elicited inside of us in relation to a conversation or event. They are reactive in nature, meaning anger, frustration, resentment, defensiveness, etc. Any sort of heavy emotion where that animal side of us wants to react back. I let it sit for a bit, and after explaining the conversation to a trusted advisor – aka my husband – what I realized was going on beneath the anger was the that I had given my power away. You know those times when you explain or justify too much? Those are symptoms of giving away your power. Read on below in today’s article where I share more on what it looks like specifically to give away your power – it’s sneaky – and how to shift it. Because at first glance it can seem to be the other’s persons fault – how dare they? – but really it’s something we need to look at deep down within ourselves.
You are giving away your power when:
-you second guess yourself
-you over explain why you did or didn’t do something
-you apologize for things that weren’t your fault – different than apologizing for the situation
-you over justify when you say no to someone
-you agree to do things you don’t want to do (outside of reasonable compromise)
-you seek reassurance (aka not trusting yourself)
-you let the other person ask all of the questions in a sales conversation
-you pretend to agree when you don’t
-you don’t stand-up for yourself and let others blame and shame you (there are ways to respectfully and compassionately do this)
-when you take on other people’s energy
-when you’re the last person at the bar at a conference
I may have gone too far with that last one, but you get the gist.
So what is giving away your power anyway?
It’s when you slip into a disempowered place instead of feeling empowered and confident.
Let’s work on shifting this.
Well, the first step is to be aware of it. Think about which examples above – and you may have discovered others too – hit home for you the most?
Second, think about what you want to change into instead. How would you act if you felt empowered and confident instead? How would you show-up, make decisions, speak, dress, etc.? Who would you BE as that version of you?
You know that saying, “fake it until you make it”? It works.
Third, start visualizing this version of you every day.
Last, map out some tangible examples in your life of where you can start behaving as this best version of you and start taking your power back.
“Act as if” over and over and over, until it becomes “if”.
The subconscious mind loves repetition. 98% of what you’re doing and how you’re showing-up in not conscious. More on that later.
Let’s make this conscious and start shifting it.
You deserve to be confident and powerful – meaning you can create anything your heart desire’s when you feel your best.